Watching a lot of inane YouTube videos, true crime style docs in the style of JCS that use real bodycam and interrogation footage to go deep into the psychology of criminals.
And, as of late, with the increase in these technologies, there's a lot. I mean, a mind-buggering shit-tonne of sociopaths, from 91 year old grandpas that kill their adult children, to carefree gangs, murderous husbands/wives/mothers/fathers/serial killers/etc.
And the most terrifying thing is how well they fit in, how - not precisely plausible, but if you didn't ask the right questions, or - as in our current state of surveilled society, with internet, dashcam, security camera footage, phone records, gps data - might well go unsolved. Also remarkable and still - despite mountains of evidence to the contrary - how many women are up to the same murderous antics. 20 years ago they wouldn't have believed it - look at Karla Homolka & Paul Bernardo - but now there's more than enough evidence to say equality - at least in the low end of human nature - has certainly been reached.
The better ones use real interrogation footage. The worse ones use stock footage and simply voiceover the events. There is a difference. Anyways, one particular one - I'll save you watching the entire thing - a quick summary might be as follows:
Young successful married professional (engineer) does a "Thrill Killing" and gets caught. It's just a murder because he can and thinks it will be fun.
Anyways, following his capture he has these conversations with his wife, which are quite probably the most sublime(?), ridiculous and at the same time terrifying thing you've ever heard.
Link YouTube; conversation only
Which should give you an idea of how completely alien these people's mindset is. I mean, I can imagine a lot of heinous things, but this, well, this argues (like a lot of them) for very swift and merciless Capitol Punishment.
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Clear my YouTube history, you can too deep down these rabbit holes and eventually it'll keep you up at night. What is most terrifying is that I've met (we all have, I'm sure) more than a few of these people, and that if only circumstance were different we'd as well be prey.
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From that to work, where the Sushi Chef has been writing his rap lyrics in the slower periods. He shows me a few of his videos.
I actually search for "Sushi Chef Rapper" on YouTube and discover it's a fucking thing.
And somehow it gets my mind turning...
I start listening to Eminem - "Not Afraid" and "Love the way you lie". Maybe I've heard them before, but this is the first time I've listened to them, proper.
I'd excuse myself, the whole hip-hop rapper culture, toxic masculinity, posturing, racism, ghetto, misogyny, well, it's not my scene, not my themes. But I get how they resonate, don't admire but I can appreciate. (and yeah, I could actually rap that...)
I'm more an Aesop Rock sort of guy.
...but these tunes, well, the beats hit, the lyrics, well, they're to the purpose, I don't think they're the best but I admire the dense machine-gun imagery, the metaphors, the mixed beats and tunes and so I listen to them over and over, getting a feel for the rhythm and I think that I have some ideas for a new Sushi Chef in town...