Dear Osama,
In my last letter I said that the Americans have forgiven you for what happened all those years ago. I might have been mistaken as I just heard some US Candidates on the radio talking about how they plan to come and get you. Don't worry, it's a campaign promise, and probably they won't come looking. They always like to talk big at election time. There's some sort of statute of limitations in the US anyways, and so your time might be up.
Hope your day is going well.