This trying to beat the Casino, gathering numbers, sorting them, trying to find the patterns, it's leading me down the rabbit holes of madness. Hours of spreadsheets, finding the similarities, discovering the underlying commonalities - they're anything but random, clock a few wheels a few times and you'll see, but while I can shoot an arrow backwards in time and make 100% accurate predictions, going forward it isn't proving so easy...
I obsess over them, spreadsheets, graphs, tables, I'm beginning to see numbers like Neo did in the Matrix at the end when he started flexing and the numbers started bulging, only my epiphanies merely convert to extended losses and defeats and weeks where I regroup and consolidate, over which time the numbers will have changed...
I''m becoming the very picture of the disheveled genius, unkempt, I'm not the only one out there, there are others, a little Chinese man at the wheel with his own system, a dozen little recipe cards, I scoff, "a nutter" I think to myself, but I've got my own recipe cards and I doubt very much he's any crazier than me.
Facts, Counter-facts, theory, speculation, probability, odds, statistics, there's the "Probability of winning 4/5 times X% percent of your stake of C$ at Y# of spins", or other such nonsense, and I'm finding, every time I go, that the theory grows, now - "Probability of winning 4/6 times X-Z% percent of your stake of C$ at Y-Z# of spins", my theories nothing if not adaptive...
It's the quick route to madness and there's no quicker way to assess somebodies sanity than ask them about their roulette theory...
I need a bulletin board, cork, yarn, I'm going to map out my theory, with pictures of Elvis, JFK, Marilyn, Epstein, Clinton, Crop Circles, Bigfoot, Contrails, pictures culled from the Voynich Manuscript, The Beale Cipher, Lottery Tickets, other errata and miscellania, all joined by bits of colored yarn, color coded thumbtacks, bits of tape and post-it notes, "I'VE got a THEORY..." ...
All the other lunatics out there, others like me, you see them with their notebooks, scribbling, trying to make sense of the numbers, find the patterns, predictive, they're always there in hindsight - but this year, the future, the year of the rat, this year is going to be 20/20 vision...