Still spacey, but I've stopped noticing it.
Now it's the taste of things - or lack of taste. Coffee is bitter. Juice, sweet treacle of sugar, barely registers on the palate, I know it's cold, I know the brand, know that I should be grossed out by the sweetness of it, but I can't taste it.
Salty and savory, on the other hand, taste fine. Taste like more in fact.
And the cigarettes, sometimes I don't even know that I'm smoking them. But I notice the little anxieties, the moments of inexplicable panic when I don't know what's wrong (something's wrong...I just can't put my finger on it...), quitting smoking without cigarettes it was easy to ascribe a cause, now that I still can smoke it's harder - there's no reason for these attacks, but they pass and I get back to what I was doing.
Whatever it was I was doing.
What was I doing again?
I need a list. I have a list, it's upstairs, I'll just go upstairs and get it. In a minute. I should pet the cat. Where was I?
I'm almost out of cigarettes. Tomorrow's quit day. Friends tell me to wait, no need for the quit day, I'll stop without it, I'm not sure, don't want the anxiety of being lost in the suburbs with a craving for a smoke, but I'm trying to quit (when I remember..). And so maybe I'll just try and forget that I'm out, it seems to be easy enough, I'm forgetting everything else...