So, finally, confronting my anxiety and resolving to use up my art supplies.
Most of which, at the time of this writing, have pleasantly decayed into uselessness, repeated freeze-thawing of the watercolors, acrylics and oils has left very little that remains useful.
Whew.
Before beginning I consult with some of the innumerable YouTube videos on the particular topic I've chosen.
"Painting for Imbeciles". Results may vary.
I comb through them, there are many, many, many and I watch quite a few before settling on a couple I like.
This should be a cinch.
Of course, it isn't, and while the artist/narrator surely knows his stuff it's not coming through the screen to me.
They tell me that color and shape and tonality are important.
Like bloody hell they are.
I paint along. If he's painting a ballerina I end up with Bigfoot. If he's painting a still life I end up with a bullet-ridden corpse.
Maybe they were right?
Are these my eyes? What in the hell am I doing wrong? If I stand 10 feet back from the canvas, glasses off, it only vaguely resembles what I'm working towards.
Step any closer and it falls apart.
Rub it out, try again.
And again.
And again.
I'm realizing why I so long postponed this, what I can't figure out is how I have so many art supplies...