The Tuesday visit, I have to bring him supplies. Pop, candy bars, toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, soap, toothbrushes, razors...
Get swabbed, wait for the test results, masked up, in for the visit.
These visits, they're to be in the room only, there's no visiting in the common areas, the plague, here, is ongoing.
Stormy doesn't listen. He tries to lure me into the halls, wants to show me off to his friends. I decline.
He persists. Eventually a friend of his - a "girlfriend" - comes by in a wheelchair, she assures me it's fine, and I step out of his room...
Only to be told by a passing nurse that I have to remain in his room.
Back into his room. Small, generic, ugly furnishings, it's a hospital, hospice, bleak beyond measure.
We chat. There's really, for him, nothing to chat about. He wants out. He wants me to wheel him outside for a cigarette. "I can't" I tell him. It's against the rules.
He's not taking no for an answer.
He wants me to steal a vehicle, take him downtown for the day. Nope, nope, nope.
- I don't understand what it's like here, to be here, all the time, it's a prison, when am I coming next, when are we going in to town?
And this. These visits, an hour, but with the bus, the shopping, the countless trifles, tests, etc, etc, they consume a full day. And I explain to him that he'd best now start settling in, we'll go to town once a week or every other week, but it's time face facts, we're not moving in together, I've sat in on the discussions with the nurses, caregivers, doctors, I'm not dealing with his incontinence, soiled laundry thrown in the corners of the room, time now to make friends here...
At this he looks stubbornly out the window and he tears up.
I apologize. This is horrible, but - there are people here he can talk to, there's a kindly old woman that has a crush on him, there are others, and - change is tough, but - friendship has it's limits. It kills me to see him cry, but being his full-time wheelchair pusher is not a career I wanted, and he doesn't respect the courtesy of it, takes it for granted, doesn't get that it's no pleasure for me to be the arms to his caprices...
And so this is where we are at the moment...