Which, as I discover, has attracted a wide body of worshippers. A full house. 200 people, easy. Now somehow I misunderstood "Social", the social, it will follow after the half hour of singing, the worst "hymns" - if that's what they could be called - that I've ever heard. I mean, get an AI on it, pronto, there's probably no more than 20 different words in each one, repeated over and over...
There's a helpful Karaoke display on a big TV at the end of the room, in case you can't remember the lyrics, but I'm pretty sure you could, only the mind rebels at this level of inanity.
I mean, Gospel at least rocks.
And the congregation, this congregation, they've got to be - on average 70+ years old.
There are the regulars, from the restaurant, one, 60+ years old, is doing a "flag dance" with different colored flags, it's all a bit WTF, the low rent rave, and I'm thinking this party would benefit a great deal from some MDMA laced Kool-Aid and edibles...
Another, younger pastor, good looking, fit, but - well, it doesn't take long to figure out that he's found a great beard in Jesus.
There's a couple of short sermons, and then we're all instructed to get down to the serious business of Prayer. Now being raised Catholic I'm a little unused to what follows.
They assemble themselves in groups of 6, I'm with 5 other 70+ ladies.
We're given the prayer agenda for the evening -first of all, it's come to the attention that while other local towns have godbothering ratio of up to 53%, this town, this infernal little hell hole, is coming in at less than half that.
Which, all things considered, still seems a bit high, I mean, there are so many more interesting paths - there's the crystals, there's yoga, there's Buddhism, I'm guessing that the practicing Christian base is dying off largely due to the fact that there are better parties, much better parties, but that's my opinion...
Topics for prayer are, in order today, to beg for more Churchgoers, Good God needs more people to enter the fold. The next topic is Doctors and hospital staff, like every city & town in Canada, and the solution proposed is to allow the unvaxxed doctors and nurses to resume working....
I know.
And the next, well, a group prayer for one another.
This takes - all of them together, forever, and the group prayer is the worst...
But I'll start with the first one. God and Jesus both need better ambassadors to bring people into the fold. The pastors, both that I know, work for, are kind, reasonable people, but they're not coming up with the solutions people need.
The second, more doctors? Blame the politicians who spent the pandemic driving them out of the hospitals. Blame lack of funding. And - instead of praying for more doctors, pray for better health.
Then get off your asses and go for a walk.
The final one, well, you sit in a prayer circle with a group of 70 year old women praying for one another in that passive-aggressive "Jesus you were great getting me that last car, but I need something better..." and "I knew you meant well when you took my husband..." and "Lord help her to bear her suffering...." and you get the idea.
Basically the Lord has to listen to the complaints of older ladies that have exhausted and worn out their caregivers and friends.
No shit, this was brutal.
So, finally at the end, the "Social" part, say hi to the people you need to say hi to, talk to Tats briefly, he's found a new friend, Tats Color, with even more Tats than Tat and his all in glorious color, and they're comparing the illustrated biblical scenes they've each covered themselves with...
Visit, visit and meet a few others, then - time, time to help put away the chairs, dishes, time to wrap this roadshow up and get the hell out of there...
Later, at home on my sofa, unpacking, as it were, and it makes sense - after a fashion, I've not went down this rabbit hole, not since the internet made research so damned easy (but I will, I will), and I'm reading my current book, a 1923 book titled "Primitive Mentality", and this, an excellent read on the mindset of primitive stone-aged peoples, picked up the other day, can be no coincidence...