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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Creative
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It's like I'm in a dark room attempting to unravel a tangled ball of yarn. This creative blockage, it's gone on long enough - 2 trivial projects to be completed, only 2 in the immediacy - 2 short fucking little projects. Squibs.
The kind of stuff Shelley would barf up in an afternoon just trying to get lucky. Worse even, I mean, my bar is nowhere near that high, (there are disadvantages to this, I'm striving for a planiloquence that doesn't demand too much tongue-twisting or mental agility).
Pull them up on the computer, 1 at a time. Stare at them. Read through them, find the holes, there are holes, lots of holes, childrens rhyming verse, rhymes that fall flat, too complex, don't ring true, don't even rhyme, don't, don't, don't, and the beginning, "In the beginning", fuck, I hate it, how to start, how to start...
Ten thousand little don'ts. But there are occasionally those little gems, short verses, stanzas even, that are perfect, or close enough to, and I'm trying to build around them.
A 32 page project - tops, 1 stanza per page - maybe 6-8 lines on average. And I print it off because I can never grasp the scope just looking at a single page, now 40 pages of printed notes, words, rubbish, ideas, repetitive, the same note made a dozen times, it's fallen by the wayside, or like a hedge grown all thorny and overgrown and I can't find the shape of it...
Or I draw the shape of it, but can't fill in the words, the shape of the verse a cup waiting, I rattle letters, rhymes, jostle them together but nothing seems to fit, it's making me crazy, I've fallen, fallen into very bad habits. It's never been this bad.
Write it all out now, untangling the printed words with pen and paper, sort, make it clear in my head, break to meditate, try and try again, juggle, mix, shake, it's not coming together...go for a walk, pace, pace, this, these projects, they've made me a neurotic, restive, infected me with a hundred nervous tics, this - and this is the worst - is I know it is a simple thing, it should be struck from my pen like a grocery list or a scratchy-Bill-Paid, somewhere in my head my little genii's playing "hide and seek", and I'm going a bit crazy trying to find him...
Time for a break. I'm gonna try and sell off some more shit on Kijiji.
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Creative
- Hits: 927
A friend, presuming competence, that generalization that because I'm good at my job and I'm terrific at holding my liquor I'm probably great at my artwork as well, invites me to paint the portrait of her beloved deceased dog.
Cue circus music.
Now I'd make the same mistake myself if I didn't know myself any better. But I accept the challenge - why not, dogs aren't people, you only have to realize a passing resemblance to the breed and people will invariably identify it as "their" dog. Not like people. Damnable people. People, you get a resemblance, eyes, nose, mouth, maybe even ears and a forehead, yet still they find something wrong. Dogs, come close on color, shape and size, and there's no complaining. This summer I'm going to set up at the Ferry landing and do doggie portraits, I'll make a killing, no complaints, I'm pretty sure...so this, this will be the necessary practice.
My art supplies, by grim necessity, are coming largely from "Dollorama". I've got to get used to the new color naming schemes, no Cadmium or Alazarin hues here, I'm making do with "Daffodil Yellow" and "Sapphire Blue" and "Pumpkin Orange". And Glitter, lots and lots of glitter. And you know, it isn't half bad, why ever in the hell did I need expensive top-of-the line oils and canvas when generally all I paint is shit? This is working out terrific...and I'm saving a bundle...
Attempt #1
At which point it was much admired and then she let me know her dog was a girl, hence the fire hydrant wasn't really a necessary prop.
I knew I could do better, and so I tried again:
Yeah, better, maybe, I'm loving the glitter, but not enough better, and so I thought on it for a while and went back to Dollarama for some better brushes. Acrylic brushes.
And I think I got it, maybe a little more abstract than she'd like, but it pleases me (mostly) and in the end that's all that matters...
You know, I watched a bunch of YouTube videos on how to paint clouds. Clearly it didn't sink in. But the whole bit about "Paint the background first" was a bit of a revelation, and upon reflection it kind of makes sense...
My Favorite. It doesn't get better than this. Dog Heaven.
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Creative
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It's proof that I've been working, finally, these past couple of months not entirely squandered, projects come along just never according to schedule.
I'm obsessed with art supplies, materials to create, I acquire easily 100 times what I need, this project, a couple of dozen notebooks, easily, 20 pencils, 3 dozen pens.
One pens' already given out.
Now, again, 2 pens failing and a 2 inch stub of a pencil, I'm pleased, these things are measurable, I'm no longer a collector, consumer, I'm a creator.
Pages litter the table, I've been condensing, redrawing in finished copy, rewriting, notes, 100 stray sheets and scraps of paper, an additional semi-organized 2 notebooks, things are coming along, not to schedule, but at least they're on their way...
The drawing, it improves, never good but better, always a little bit better, and I'm beginning to relax and enjoy it more. Take more chances. Find the joy in just copying something well done and hope the hard lessons learned by that artist will, by Osmosis or dull repetition, be learned by me, and, slowly slowly they are. Intervals of despair are ever-more frequently broken my minor triumphs.
This is the 99% perspiration.
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Creative
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And finally getting round to scanning in some images and finishing up some outstanding creative projects that have been preying upon my mind...
The time away, it allows me to be critical, and there's a whole lot there I don't like. This is one, that if I reduce in size enough, I do...
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Creative
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Another recent inspiration, Habanero Flavored Personal Lubricant. Marketed with such phrases as "Some Like it Hot" and "Put the Spice back into Your Sex Life" and "Spice it Up". Discreetly packaged in squirt bottles so it can be sold in supermarkets and drugstores, alongside the cherry and other flavored lubricants, with perhaps flames and habanero peppers on the label, which would attract potential customers because, really, everyone likes to feel like their being a little naughty and going to hell when they have sex. And with my Habanero Flavored Personal Lubricant, those feelings will not just be psychological...
I'm thinking there will be a pretty big market for this, but I'm not really into cooking up sexual lubricants in my kitchen (although if I were I'd be sure to write "small batch" on the label, because then I could charge higher prices for it). But if you work for a company that manufactures similar things and stumble across this post, feel free to use my idea, we'll work out the royalties later.