Part of One Yellow Rabbits High Performance Rodeo, the Martha Cohen Theatre, Theatre Calgary, a last minute decision ...
The wingman, she's not available, this perplexes me, other peoples lives (the fact that they have them), I'm covering tickets and drinks and you're still not available? Bloody hell, I need a bigger pool of wingmen ... or a better deodorant ...
Theatre Calgary, I hate it. No, I do, conservative and predictable retelling of the boring classics, ever since N*** slept with B****, but I'm hoping that the OYR HPR part of the equation redeems it, sitting in the lobby, waiting for the show, watching the audience trickle in and I'm beginning to have some misgivings...
It's the Theatre Calgary crowd, average age somewhere between 65 and a thousand years, the classical arts mullet, grey hair swept into that 70's icon of bad taste, business in front, party in the back, what have I got myself in for? And the bar, a dispiriting spirit list, no scotches for sale, only wine, house rye, gin, spiced rum, every decision a compromise, how can they not have Scotch, given their demographic? Make it a double whatever...the combined age of this audience exceeds the written history of mankind...my own contribution is not unsubstantial, but I'm not thinking I'm on the edge of theatre or thought here, the audience is betraying the show...one man, arts-mullet #8, is telling another, bad-combover #3, that he knows nothing about it other than it's about feminism and bicycles...
I'm thinking now of leaving, fleeing, get out while you still can, if the audience in any way foreshadows the show this is going to be bleak...there was an alternative dance number I could have chosen at the university, only I can never figure out their parking, and yesterday spent at the registry making an honest woman of my Jeep coughed up an unexpected number of tickets on file waiting to be paid...
Drink my drink, order another, swagger in and find my seat. I want nothing more than for this to be over. The audience, badly and brightly dyed helmets of hair bobbing and waving at one another, it's an "in" crowd for sure, the Calgary arts crowd, if they ever needed a fundraiser they would only need to sell bingo tickets before the show and call the numbers afterwards, would boost subscriptions by a million percent at least...
The show begins. A Laurie Anderson styled fusion of music, spoken word, mixed media, performance art, a narrative loosely hung on the frame and history of the bicycle, how small things can have such unintended impacts and consequences. It's good, I have to reluctantly concede, a job well done, the narrative informs me of things I knew nothing, the music is ... well, musical, the drummer on the bike, well, that's the gimmick. It's good.
If you like the clip below, you'll love the show...
A clip below:
{embed:youtube:6gBV85GmFsU}
PS: Need a more committed and available wingman. If you're bright, articulate and presentable and don't hold a membership to Theatre Calgary, contact me...