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dead by the highway
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Dreams
- Hits: 1841
I'm driving along a narrow, windy road through the mountains. Cursing at going so slow when a car (trans am) in the oncoming lane pulls a U-Turn, I slow down, miss hitting him by inches and now I'm going slow behind him. Looking out the window, to the right beneath the cliff I spy bodies, people, men, women, covered in tarps, victims of previous road accidents, their corpses waiting until traffic relents before they can be picked up. They're covered in clothing, blankets, but still you can see legs and arms here or there, identify sex, nametags cut from newsprint identify the victims, I tell the passengers (? children?) in the car to look out the window so they can see, I have to drive slow to avoid running them over....
Paying with Euros
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Jedi Mind Tricks
- Hits: 1590
This is a truly great Jedi Mind Trick.
Suppose that your on a date and you've had dessert and the bill comes and your date doesn't make any effort to try and pay.
First you should try and stall to give her a chance. Maybe she doesn't know you're a Jedi. But if you've waited a while and you've already ordered another dessert and she still hasn't made any attempts to pay and you're kind of out of things to talk about this Jedi Mind Trick will get you off the hook.
Pick up the bill and go to pay the waiter in front of your date. When you open your wallet you discover that all you have is Euros. You don't have to have real Euros, just printed high quality facsimiles. You could make them at home, just find some high res pictures of Euros online, crop them and print them out. Say to the waiter "Oh, darn, I haven't changed my money yet. You take Euros, don't you?". It's best if you can say it in a European accent. Your date will be very impressed that you've been to Europe and can speak European and this will give you something else to talk about later. Meanwhile the waiter will, if you're in Canada, most definitely tell you that he/she doesn't take Euros and your date will pay the bill.
If your date still doesn't offer to pay the bill you could give the waiter one of those American Express cards that say "Your Name Here" and tell him you'll come back to pick it up after you change your money.That will usually make everyone happy but you'll have to wait until American Express sends you another one before you can go on another date.
Theatre - Peter Pan & Shakespeare
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Dreams
- Hits: 1837
I'm at a rehearsal, the play is about to begin, behind the stage, the set, talking to the other actors. I'm entertaining them, they were worried about practicing their lines, I'm confident that I'll remember mine (I only have a bit role), so I take the opportunity to make wisecracks and jokes.
Where we are, behind the set, it's behind a pretend big stone mansion, if we go through the doors we'll be onstage, the audience in front of us, live. Everyone's busy getting ready. This dream is odd, the foreground too brightly lit, the edges are blurred, dark as if in the audience. I'm only looking at the back of the set. The other actors find me very entertaining. And it's odd as well because I've always done this, been an actor (I've never been an actor) , and I know the theater even, we're at the Citadel in Edmonton (we're not, I know when I wake up).
Finally it's my turn, I enter the stage through the set doors to deliver my Peter Pan/Shakespeare lines, there's a pause for a double beat and I realize the I've forgotten my lines, I improvise, the audience is fine with it and applauds loudly, the show must go on....
Riding the Bus
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Jedi Mind Tricks
- Hits: 1607
Sometimes I ride the bus a lot because I don't like to drive my landspeeder around. It gets too many looks. And a great Jedi Mind Trick you can do on the bus is to take an old tranfer that has the same time on it that your getting on the bus, and cover the date with your finger and show it to the bus driver. You wave it back and forth like your showing it to him, but really you're doing a Jedi Mind Trick.
Now sometimes the bus driver will stop you and say "Can I see that please", which is why I wear a Jedi mood ring on the finger that's covering the date. Because when the bus driver asks to see the transfer I pretend to think that he's really interested in my ring and I put the transfer in my other hand so I can use it again and show him my ring and start to tell him where I got it and what sorta mood I'm in and how he could be a Jedi too and just not know it.
Usually this works. If it doesn't I just pretend I forgot something and get off the bus and wait for another one.
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