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The Bad Batch
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Film
- Hits: 1599
It's like somebody heard of "Fury Road" - the amputee in the post-apocalyptic future - but never saw it, and thought to make their own version with mopeds, Mexicans, bad digital amputees..and the hot chick that wants to get with the cannibal that ate her limbs...
Bad. Really bad. They don't even bother to continue digitally removing the leg, just have her wear a prosthetic, and the missing leg varies from scene to scene. Starring Keannu Reeves who apparently has done nothing but eat twinkies since John Wick, and Jim Carrey as himself. Don't waste your time, life is far too short...
Q-Tips
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Rants
- Hits: 1819
...which apparently aren't supposed to be put in your ears anymore, my whole entire life they were the product you needed when you wanted to clean your ears, now - for reasons unbeknownst to me they won't do, put nothing in your ears, not even your pinkie...so what the fuck are you supposed to do with Q-Tips?
Batsh*t Stories...
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Conversations
- Hits: 1230
...and there's the stories, good, maybe, on the fly, but if you're committed to a couple of hours of them straight they can get to be a little much...like how Bob Hope got his name and what a good time was had by all at his hundredth birthday party...like how he took Mother Theresa gold panning on the Sacramento River and they gave all the gold they got to the orphans and then Elizabeth Taylor showed up and she was dressed as an Egyptian and won a bet and isn't that the funniest thing you ever heard? and how the 5 Electra's wanted the belt I gave him and were trying to peel it off his body and he managed to resist and how roasted peacock (wrapped in the same foil and on the same bread as the sandwiches on the Ferry) tastes just like chicken or turkey if you don't know you're eating it and how he's wearing Roger Vadim's leather coat and would you like to try it on? (of course, of course, and it smells a little, smells a lot like Roger Vadim died in it...) and about how his real name used to be "Prince of the MPire" before he changed it...
With the Skipper on Gilligan's Island...
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Dreams
- Hits: 1579
I'm with Alan Hale, the Skiooer, on Gilligan's Island, the older Gilligan's Island, the black and white one, and he's pointing to a low grainy island off in the sea and telling me that if we're going to get off the island we have to get there, and so we grab a small sailboat and set out...
...and it's not very far, not very far at all when everything turns to color and people are running around busy streets with their portable coffee mugs on their way to work and I realize that it's not such a far flung island after all, it's more the final spit on the end of an archipelago, we're not at all far from civilization, and there are two oddly dressed girls with big heads and short bodies and they're telling me that they're from the land of El Dorado, they just came here through a rift, on vacation, and I'm trying to show Alan Hale, look, look, we're saved, we're not lost at all, but he's just not seeing it...
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