Home
Extraneous Nipples
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Dreams
- Hits: 2475
I'm in a prospecting meeting, of sorts, other prospectors, some irrelevant people, dark room, a desk with a fat bossy kid, he's taken over from the boss...all around there are disconnected bath fixtures, bathtubs, toilets...
I'm picking at a blackhead on my ankle, start to squeeze it and the puss jets out, at first a narrow stream, then bigger, like toothpaste from a tube...I'm amazed, really, how much is in there, keep squeezing, more and more keeps coming up, I'm wiping it off, looking for a place to wipe it...
...and moving up my ankle, looking for more blackheads, I discover a pair of nipples on my inner ankle bones, I squeeze them, they jet out a splash of milk, then the toothpaste-styled puss, my hands are full of it, I look into the bathtubs, can wipe them in there, only the irrelevant people are sleeping in them...
...The boy, he's still barking directions, I'm paying attention, sort of, despite his bossiness he's proving surprisingly competent...
Diamond Tester
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
- Hits: 2684
I squandered my Ebay winnings on a diamond tester. And when the daughter found out, well, she was up for checking the mail every day.
Every day.
Until it arrived.
At which point there was the battle to test all my collected pebbles for the possibility of their being diamonds.
I wanted to do this alone, share my success when it was assured...
"You can bullshit N***, but you can't bullshit me, dad" was her response...
And so we read the instructions, cursorily, as impatient people do (and how many winning lottery tickets are lost this way?), a couple of false positives, otherwise it appears we have to keep searching...
Now I'm a little perplexed, was certain I'd found....well, something, but there's lots of places left to check, I've only lightly read the instructions, and, after all, it would be ridiculous to expect success on our first effort...
WTF People, 112.9 a litre?
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Rants
- Hits: 2972
No, seriously, what the fuck people? Oil under $44.00 a barrel and they're charging $112.9 at the pump? No, seriously, WTF? Price gouging? Monopoly? There's no complaining about marginal profits here, this is as good as it gets, estimates on profits range around 30 cents a litre, and people still paying, not complaining, scale it up in your minds, folks, let 'em get away with this and when oil goes back up to $100.00 a barrel expect to pay $2.50 a litre.
Read more on Canada.com: http://www.canada.com/story_print.html?id=3c76a1e8-230a-4ef1-a8da-8cb51113f0ab
Curious how quiet the national media's been about it all...
Saskatchewan
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
- Hits: 2606
Moose Jaw, late for a funeral. Grandma, she died, finally, earlier in the year, and so a family reunion of sorts, too late for the funeral but in time for those who haven't yet caught a plane and left.
My children, boy and girl, it's the first time they've been...fist time I've been in about 25 years, and I'm curious to see how it's changed.
With the exception of my old high school, torn down, an ugly new one, and my great grandparents old house, torn down as well, it hasn't changed. Every house I lived in still there, the old schools, familiar landmarks, walking through Crescent Park, the old hotels, River Street, they're all there, the same, only smaller than I remembered them...
A curious glitch in my memory, I'd always remembered the town hall being on the east side of the street, walking down main I find it on the west, I check with my father, they haven't moved it, it's always been there, I'm curious as to when this revision to my memory took place...
The children, they feign interest, there's not so much to see, a long weekend, mostly everything is closed, museums, galleries...
It's hauntingly familiar, another lifetime, two, three even, ago, and amazing to see whole neighborhoods exactly as I'd remembered them, amazing because in Calgary you can't drive around the block without seeing a new development, infill, landmarks are perpetually erased and rebuilt, but here, time has stood still.
I recognize, realize, how much of this landscape fills my dreams, consciously I've never thought of it, unconsciously the city has built itself again, with slight revisions, somewhere deep in my mind, and on restless nights my mind paces the empty streets...
After a day's visit we leave, this time through Gravelbourg, Eastend, new roads for me, a thousand places to get out and explore, prospect, but the boy has other obligations, and so we drive straight through, a brief stop in Eastend to see the dinosaur museum, quaint town, more Montana than Saskatchewan, then in Cypress Hills where we stop at the daughters insistence, then back to the number one, drive, storm, home...
Page 741 of 1086