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The Lost Lemon Mine (2)
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Lost
- Hits: 2786
I've posted on this before, and if you're unfamiliar read this post: http://rodboyle.com/index.php/53-treasure/lost/552-the-lost-lemon-mine
Now having read a fair bit on it I've become convinced that it's just another "Lost Gold Mine" story, they're abundant, every state/province/town has one.
The "evidence", or "testimony" might be a better phrase, is too slender, the existence of Blackjack and Lemon questionable, yet still every few years in Calgary there crops up another "Explanation" for it, whether it be the Crowsnest Volcanics or simple low level gold accumulation in the gravels. Some are mere explanations, others are solicitations for investors. There are seldom any follow ups in the press.
A couple of possibilities, however, present themselves to the optimist. First of all, glaciation. Almost all of Alberta was covered in glaciation that pushed and scraped rocks from the adjacent mountains down the prairies. Walk, in the badlands or across a farmers field, and with luck you will find granite, metamorphic schist, garnets, every sort of rock imaginable, none local, all here as a result of glaciation. Think then of the Okotoks Erratic, a massive boulder deposited outside Okotoks, and then of the other erratics deposited throughout Alberta. They abound, the bulk of them buried under glacial silt, topsoil, etc.
It's not improbably, therefore, to consider that the same action that deposited the erratics might have shaved a gold bearing quartz ledge and buried it somewhere in the province. Indeed it would be improbable if, in the history of our province, that hadn't happened. And, slightly buried or slightly exposed, sheds it's gold in a seasonally dry coulee, to be eventually found by the imaginary Blackjack and Lemon.
Or consider, in the badlands and deeper rivers of the province, over 75 million, 100 million years of history is exposed. It seems unlikely, impossible even, that none of those rivers bore gold, find the intersection of the past and the present, worn cobbles deep in a river valley or on a cliff face, pan these and check, perhaps this is where it can be found...
In short, the myth is the myth, a legend, but it speaks to a deeper truth, that gold can be found in surprising place(r)s...
Pasta Fiesta
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
- Hits: 2676
A phrase we coined to "upsell" larger, obviously budget-minded parties that would invariably order pasta instead of entree's off the menu.
The humor in this relies largely on the fact that the owner of the restaurant breaks into loud song upon reading a bill of 10 entirely different pastas...the "Pasta Fiesta" song, not so charming if you speak Italian or English or are seated any where near the kitchen. But then perhaps it's only fair that you hear this...
"You Mother Fuckers...what are you trying to do? Kill me? Porco Dio! Porco Madonna!" ....and the lyrics vary after this....
Bankview - From the Balcony
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: People
- Hits: 2082
Bankview from my balcony. Every morning, 5:00, 6:00, 7:00 AM, the tribes of the Calgary homeless search the dumpster across the way for bottles. It's as if they have a schedule, know when the drunkards will be waking up and dumping the empties over the balcony, searching the dumpster, shopping carts, makeshift trailers on bicycles, garbage bags slung over shoulders, there's a rhythm.
And the dog walkers, mostly small, indoor, apartment-style dogs, teacups, a good looking couple chatting, her, small, fit, cute, him, larger, fit, handsome, their dogs exactly the same size, one a terrier, the other a pug, chatting, holding his dog, her dog back, they're trying to mount, obviously hitting it off, the couple, the owners, they're hitting it off as well but daren't be so forward...
And evening, the drunks on the way home from the bars on 17th, cabs, cars dropping off late night partiers, a couple of attractive girls making out in a vintage convertible, young, lipstick-lesbians, 1:00 AM, try not to look or stare, but one catches you looking anyways, stares back through the passenger window while her partner fumbles and gropes her...
Excuses
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Conversations
- Hits: 1372
And, having been away over a year, some customers are curious enough to ask what I've been up to.
"In jail for credit card fraud." I tell them. "I was taking customers credit card numbers and using them to buy stuff on eBay...selling them off to Russians..."
Some laugh. A very few. Others laugh, nervously. And a few, well, there's just a double take while I ask "How would you like to pay again?...".
I mix it up. Try new lines....like ..."They never found the body, so they had to release me....". Somehow they find this funnier. more acceptable...
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