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Ex Voto
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Link of the day
- Hits: 1764
I'm a big fan of magic realism. Any of the novels of Márquez, the South American novels of de Bernières, the short stories of Borges.
And so trawling eBay in my search for religious kitsch and related treasures you can imagine my delight in discovering these:
They're ex-voto, or the fulfillment of a promise to certain saints for services rendered. Now you go to eBay and do a search for ex voto, or just click here. Some of them offer translations, but it's more fun to speculate. For example, above, the beloved Saint has obviously saved the poor family from a gang of voracious squirrels.
Above we have thanks given for saving a girl from a rain of frogs.
Or thanks for assisting my jailbreak. Why not? God's for everyone, not just the damned law abiding or self righteous...
Thank you for saving me from the giant octopus. Or for introducing me to my new lover....
Try thank you for helping me to save my cats from these rather fearsome dogs. Personally, I'd want saving from the flying ghoul carrying her head and spewing blood from the bloody stump, but apparently that's the saint and she's a good guy....
I don't speak Spanish, but I'm guessing she's thanking the Saint for bringing the devil to her bed. It's looking like there will be some spicy action there tonight...
I need a life like that, where the exceptional is commonplace, where it rains frogs and there are plagues of killer squirrels, where giant Octopus regularly seize and terrorize swimmers, where the Saints will bring you your demon lover....
This is only the smallest of samples, there are new listings all the time, no end of inspiration, a thousand possible novels in a few short pages...scroll through and see if you can guess what they're giving thanks for....
The Mechanization of Prayer
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Ideas & Questions
- Hits: 1882
In some cultures, prayers are held to have an intrinsic meaning.
It is not the telling, or reciting of the prayer, the prayer exists on it's own, separate from the prayer (prayer, the recitation or written expression thereof, exists separately from the one who tells it...).
And this existence, the intrinsic existence of the prayer, influences the universe for the better, it can be replicated, multiplied and even mechanized.
The most notable examples are the Tibetans, with their branch of Buddhism that allows for prayer flags (prayers are carried from the flags by the winds), prayer wheels (spinning the wheel releases the prayer contained on both the outside and wound round the shaft of the wheel), there are other examples as well.
In Catholicism the saying of the rosaries would be equivalent, but only very roughly, for the church has not given sanction to machines to say rosaries, they must be said by the faithful, and the repetition of them, while apparently mechanical, is also contemplative and meditative. Whereas the blowing of flags by the wind, or spinning of unseen wheels by machines or people could not be said to be either.
I find this curious.
Help Wanted
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
- Hits: 2014
We have a standing "Help Wanted" ad.
We're forever hiring.
In the front of the house it's not so bad, maybe we go through a dozen waiters, then one of them stays a few months, moves on, the cycle begins again.
There were different issues with the waiters, a couple were obviously lazy, a few obviously incompetent, we had one that was sort of working out but decided to pursue another opportunity closer to home. You couldn't really blame him, although they did, there was a lot of loud name calling in the back, pettiness, squabbling over tips, the threatening of fisticuffs, it was embarassing to be near and so I just left....
We interview for his position.
There's a list of questions we should be asking - things like "Do you have any hobbies?" or "Do you have any outside interests or family members" because any of these things are signs they'll be leaving us. We're really looking for someone who'll be happy to work 5 and 6 days a week, 8 to 14 hours a day, for eternity.
An addictions problem would be nice, it'll help them to cope.
There's no end to applicants. One or two a day. They talk to us, the owner, have coffees, cappucinos, it's an informal interview, he trots out the Italian ladies in the back, they've been there for 20, thirty years, the waiters 10 and 20 years, they know a good thing when they see it, they're living proof of how great he is to work for, his easygoing temperment, maybe the new employee decides to try it out, shows up for a shift or two, then vanishes. They found it wasn't for them, decided to go back to school, discovered they were pregnant, tired, busy, the list of excuses is unending but the results are the same: sooner or later they don't come back.
Some never even make it in, confirm the job, when they'll be starting, then never show up.
In the kitchen it's the same. We've been hiring for a sous-chef as long as I've been there. They don't show up, or show up for a couple of shifts, call in sick, disappear. The record was not even2 weeks.
There are everywhere the proofs of the dead, the waiters and chefs that came and then left, old photographs on the wall, phonecalls, customer enquiries for staff long gone, automated doctors appointments calling the restaurant, mail comes to them c/o the restaurant but they're no longer here to collect it and they've left no forwarding address.
They are the disappeared.
There are more of them in this restaurant than there are in all of Chile or Argentina.
And the ad goes up again: "Help Wanted"...
fuck-a-you very much
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: People
- Hits: 1570
Carmellina, she's worked there almost 30 years, 70 years old now, she's been there since the restaurant first opened. The other Italian ladies have been there over 20 years each, but they aren't as competent, salads and prep is what they're good at, they don't know the recipes, can't work on their own...
The regular customers, they cut through the kitchen after their meals, praise the food, thank the owner, nod and say hi to the women in the kitchen, they should know them but they don't, just a general "hi" and a wave in their direction, then they exit through the back door.Carmellina, still one of the sharpest knives in the drawer, smiling she waves goodbye back, "fuck-a-you very much" she says, and her eyes glitter behind her glasses.
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