Gagging my way through my second (and final) cup of coffee of the morning I think I've put my finger on it's unique flavor.
Inspired by the frequent abdominal spasms that seem to accompany this foul brew, here's the tagline I'd write on the can to promote it's many virtues:
"Everyday Market Coffee - Every Cup tastes like a Colonic Irrigation done through the mouth..."
Of course, on it's own the slogan sort of falls down, which is why I picture a television advertising campaign for the product that features an attractive actress bent double retching over the toilet, close up of a broken cup and strewn coffee & grounds across the floor; background narration by Donald Sutherland.
Should any of the ad-geniuses from Shoppers wish to borrow this catchphrase, or contact me regarding further ideas for the promotion of this brand, please feel free to do so without any obligation of reimbursement. It's reward enough knowing that somewhere there's truth in advertising. Now excuse me while I go to rinse out my mouth.