5'6", 110 lbs, and she doesn't even slightly pull her punches. I'm in no position to retaliate, driving, in traffic, I can see opportunity a mile away but there's no safe way to wind up, when finally I get a good one in her eyes tear up, she accuses me of hitting her too hard, she's of course under no such restraints.
The game is, of course, "Punch Buggy, no return", for every VW Bug (or modern equivalent) I receive a bruising punch to the shoulder. One doesn't hurt, but try driving through Calgary, downtown, rush hour and see how many you get. I've got a callous. And add to this the hundreds of peripheral rules, an added "Banana Slap" if it's yellow, there's an added "chop" if it's a convertible, and another pinch or punch if it's a vintage bug...
These rules, they're carefully withheld, one needs to enquire after specifically brutal outbreak to find them out, they're then presented as matter of fact and of course I should have known this...
And there are the misidentified cars, she preemptively punches me upon sight of a VW logo, her eyes are better than mine, worse when the car comes to pass, a Jetta, Golf, Lexus even, if the color is right, so many mistakes I'm forced to add in penalties...
These games, they're her revenge for every empty country road and prospecting misadventure I've ever taken her on, and it crosses my mind that if Humbert-Humbert suffered a cross-country road trip with his 14 year old Lolita than he doubtless got what he deserved...