Last week, an email, that I'm up for consideration for subsidized housing. A committee interview, I'd put the application in some 8 or 9 months before, and am just now getting considered.
At first I'm thrilled, and then anxious, because what do I need housing for in the summer? And I do, there's actually a hundred reasons, not least of which living my vagrant lifestyle is far more expensive, eating and coffee out, gas, and I need a space to work on my creatives, and .... well, I could go on forever.
My lifestyle is far more trying on my friends than it is on me, than it should be.
Anxious, because it's been so long that I've had even a cupboard to call home and I need this and I don't particularly like needing anything.
Commitment to a place to live, not where I want to live, but still, economical; just a new economy I need to readapt to, a healthy economy of home-cooked meals, of nuts & berries, of creative productivity and staying up late with a book or a movie and affording a working laptop so I can do my writing and painting...
I don't know. I'm an all-or-none sort of guy, this step - it's only a step, and somehow I imagined that I'd win a lotto or all at once....and this would all be dealt with, only, well, I have to take a step in the right direction. This is how it will begin..
I bought a Lottomax and 6/49 and won both, $1.00 each draw, bloody hell, and so my intent has been fulfilled, just not in the capacity required. No cancelling the interview yet.
Wednesday morning, the interview, tour of the building, the apartments small (but bigger than my car), well kept, and I imagine myself Indoors, playing with light switches and the faucets in the Bathroom, flushing the toilet, working out all this indoor luxury living...might have to get myself a glass for my Vodka, be able to get mail and order things off Amazon, things like resin and resin molds and luminous paints and...
Well, it could become a long list.
Before the Interview I consulted the Tarot, long overdue: Single Card, drawn from the deck, Upright, The King of Pentacles...An auspicious omen.
The date, if selected, would fall mid August, and I'm reassuring them, I'm housed in my car all summer if required, I have a hard time arguing my need when there are so many people clearly in worse straights than myself, they reassure me that I "Check all the boxes"...bloody hell...
They give me a tour of the features I'd never use, the rooftop deck, the social room,...
I'd have a home.
After the interview, a trip to the Antique Shop on Baker, I'd not been for a few months, and lo-what do I discover hidden on a shelf (after umpteen perambulations, I knew I was missing something) - an Atmos Clock, Jaeger la Coulter, this, this is it, $280 after tax and while it's worn, missing it's top glass, points of corrosion on the base, this is it. This is my housewarming gift to myself, buy it, I'll pick it up in a future imperfect...
I'd bought one before, it ended up at the Boys Mothers, this one will be for the daughter...
And so the day passes in the celebration of things that may not come to pass, but - fingers crossed.