Now I'd conceived this as sort of a YouTube show with high production values based entirely upon real life events. A sort of Autobiography, as you will.
We'd call it "Jetski Prospector" and it would be about me on a Jetski going around and having all sorts of different adventures, and finding stuff.
You have to imagine it. Me, or someone almost as good looking as me playing me (I'm thinking a younger David Hasselhoff), in a wetsuit partially unzipped to reveal a large gold medallion nestled into his abundant manly chest hairs, zipping along on a Jetski looking for treasures. There would probably be a nifty tune playing every episode to introduce me (Tool?). And then we'd have a map and I'd point to someplace on it and say "We're going there" or "X Marks the Spot" or some other such nonsense and then we'd be off.
We'd visit all the different Islands of Kootenay Lake, discovering new ones along the way, doing things like teaching the natives how to make fire with matches and promising them a "Missionary for Every Pot" or trading "Blankets for Beavers" and discovering all sorts of cool things like rivers that are filled with sapphires or gold nuggets and it wouldn't be stealing because we'd have traded Blankets or colorful beads for exclusive mining rights. Maybe I'd have to take a wife on every island as part of my brokering peace treaties. People in blackface could act the roles of natives and tribesmen because there really aren't that many people of color out here, except for when it was an important role like chief, then I'd want Robert Downing Jr to play him because he did so good in Tropic Thunder. The gold and the sapphires and rubies and emeralds could all be added in with CGI afterwards, and everything would get that sort of lens-flare-sparkle to make it look as exciting in the video as it was for me to find.
On top of Mountains, In the Sahara Desert exhuming Mummies and Pyramids and The Treasures long buried, or in the high Arctic, or Valleys of Drumheller battling resurrected Dinosaurs, these would be the chronicles of my real-life adventures in a wetsuit with my Jetski.
Before you dismiss this outright, they made "The Mandalorian", didn't they, and look how that's doing!