And, having committed to returning to the Kootenays in the Spring it's all I can do to try and get some thoughts down on paper.
I mean, simple projects that have been too long in the pipeline, there's a sort of mental constipation that's plagued me these past couple of years and I'm trying to get past it.
Now, the project - there's a few, but only one at a time in front of me, I keep telling myself it's done. Veritably it is, except for where it isn't. And this is where it begins to annoy me.
The project, a kids book of sort, think "Hop on Pop", yeah, a kid's book because I'm setting my sights low, a kid's book because I've seen a lot of what's out there and it makes me gag.
So, trying to get into the rhythm of writing - seriously, a few hours a day. Set up stopwatch. Look at notes, pages, jangles, rhymes, try and organize, shape, prune and edit it down.
It compresses and then expands again. Take a breath. Do it again.
Take frequent breaks. Go for a walk. Pick up garbage around the neighborhood. Write an email or a letter. Start a painting, listen to a podcast. Maybe work on another writing project, "A change is as good as a rest" they say, and it's true - this one in front of me, it's been too long in the works and it's lost all it's joy. Still it needs to be finished.
I remind myself that - while I'm thoroughly convinced that somehow I'm dragging my heels, that this should go an awful lot quicker, that "Uncut Gems" took the Safdie brothers 160 rewrites on their script, and then I throw myself into it again.
This is the rub. It gets better - bit by bit, inch by inch, but it's killing me. Why? I don't know. I can write a clear sentence. I can write an outline, paragraph, chapter, fine - I can develop a clear precis, document every key event, character, sort them into order, I know - exactly - what has to be written, it's as clear as a straight line in my head, clear as crystal, I know what I'm trying to say - yet when I try to rhyme it that line springs back like a piece of Yarn, tangles upon itself.
That said, I'm making progress. There is some truth in that - even if you're not thrilled with your output - sitting down day after day and making the effort to write will yield results, and it is.
The Kootenays in the Spring, I'm fine with that, the job, not so much, but get a couple of projects done so I can badger publishers, collect rejection slips, have a new plan for the fall...that's all I gotta do...