My dreams, the past 6 weeks, anxiety laden, not a single good one. Just shit dreams. And so this one - yesterday, no surprise, no deviation, surprising in it's content but it wasn't really, I'd subconsciously absorbed Kurzgesagt's "What if we Nuke a City" video from my recommendations on YouTube, I hadn't even watched it, I knew it wouldn't end well, but it still ended up being the malign subject for my dream.
Which was as follows:
That I've somehow survived a Nuclear Attack upon my city, only I'm burned, deeply, I can feel the irradiation in my skin, and I know that I haven't got long left, a couple of days, max, but I move underground into this labyrinth of underground cities with others, also burned, and we find a new city...
...that ends up being nuked as well, and always we're finding new cities, and I can feel the radiation burning through my clothes, through my skin, and I know that soon it'll be peeling off me, peeling off everyone, we're all doomed to die and soon ...
That was it. Most of my nuclear war dreams end hopeful, this one did not, merely a succession of cities getting nuked and myself being increasingly irradiated.
And I didn't even watch the fucking video. All my dreams, these past 6 weeks, none worth writing down, all permeated with a vague, unsettling disquiet...
I need to go on a dopamine fast and quick. Monday. Monday expect no posts from me, I'll be fasting...