Home

I was followed...

Details

Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Jedi Mind Tricks

Published: 29 March 2009

Hits: 1633

This is a trick that's sure to impress any date or job interview you happen to show up late for.

What I do is tell them that I've been followed.

This makes them curious, but I don't tell them anything. It's better to keep them curious, helps to build an air of mystery about you.

If you're meeting in a 7/11 check around the condiments at the hot dog stand to make sure there aren't any bugging devices. That way they know you're telling the truth. If you're at a job interview that your mother set up for you then just nod knowingly at whatever the interviewer says. Don't try to blame it on anyone or they might think you're crazy, just let them think that maybe there are things that you can't talk about. Often they'll start to think that maybe the same people that are following them are following you, which makes it good that you didn't tell them who was following you in case it wasn't the same group of people that was following them. Them thinking that you're being followed by the same people that are following them is good, because it gives you something in common and makes them more likely to give you a job.

And once you have the job, they'll be sure to understand when you're late that it was because you were being followed.

dead by the highway

Details

Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Dreams

Published: 28 March 2009

Hits: 1749

I'm driving along a narrow, windy road through the mountains. Cursing at going so slow when a car (trans am) in the oncoming lane pulls a U-Turn, I slow down, miss hitting him by inches and now I'm going slow behind him. Looking out the window, to the right beneath the cliff I spy bodies, people, men, women, covered in tarps, victims of previous road accidents, their corpses waiting until traffic relents before they can be picked up. They're covered in clothing, blankets, but still you can see legs and arms here or there, identify sex, nametags cut from newsprint identify the victims, I tell the passengers (? children?) in the car to look out the window so they can see, I have to drive slow to avoid running them over....

Paying with Euros

Details

Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Jedi Mind Tricks

Published: 27 March 2009

Hits: 1516

This is a truly great Jedi Mind Trick.

Suppose that your on a date and you've had dessert and the bill comes and your date doesn't make any effort to try and pay.

First you should try and stall to give her a chance. Maybe she doesn't know you're a Jedi. But if you've waited a while and you've already ordered another dessert and she still hasn't made any attempts to pay and you're kind of out of things to talk about this Jedi Mind Trick will get you off the hook.

Pick up the bill and go to pay the waiter in front of your date. When you open your wallet you discover that all you have is Euros. You don't have to have real Euros, just printed high quality facsimiles. You could make them at home, just find some high res pictures of Euros online, crop them and print them out. Say to the waiter "Oh, darn, I haven't changed my money yet. You take Euros, don't you?". It's best if you can say it in a European accent. Your date will be very impressed that you've been to Europe and can speak European and this will give you something else to talk about later. Meanwhile the waiter will, if you're in Canada, most definitely tell you that he/she doesn't take Euros and your date will pay the bill. 

If your date still doesn't offer to pay the bill you could give the waiter one of those American Express cards that say "Your Name Here" and tell him you'll come back to pick it up after you change your money.That will usually make everyone happy but you'll have to wait until American Express sends you another one before you can go on another date.