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High Anxiety
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Blog
- Hits: 63
The pendulum having swung to it's predictable seasonal low, money now completely evaporated and time to rein in the vices. Vodka, none. Cigarettes, none. Now these things, these are trifles, the empty fridge, well, less of a trifle.
Get off my ass, apply for a half dozen jobs I'm grossly overqualified for. And wait for no responses and a renewal of the adverts looking for staff and the inevitable complaints of businesses that they can't find anyone to work...
Not my problem, my problem is I'm more than a few dollars short.
The Vodka, this was long overdue to be given up and a few days in and I'm feeling like a new man. The cigarette habit is a bit harder to shake and so I pick up my vape pen, long ignored, and begin taking a puff on it once in a while when I'm feeling the absence of nicotine.
The Vape Pen, it's filled with some CBD/Sativa pot blend. I have no fucking clue, I'm not a pothead and have no pretensions in that department. And - for a while it eases the withdrawal.
The problem, of course, is that by noon I'm fucking zoodled, and pot doesn't agree with me. I get nauseous, or ravenous, often both, and there's no remedy. The initial "high", aside from making me incredibly unmotivated and wanting to nap (and I'm besieged with bizarre imagery, stoned imagery a-la marijuana, the imagery varying greatly depending on my mood, often more 'restless' than impressive, and I talk to pothead friends and they look at me like I'm crazy, because they don't get it...) is followed by an overwhelming anxiety.
This, I know, is a side effect of pot, for me at least, and from what I've read others get this as well, but...
Eventually the day is over, and the next day it begins again...wake up still stoned from the day before, take shallower and shallower puffs on the vape, I'm the lamest pothead out there but it's time to shake some bad habits, not acquire new ones, and the last thing I want to do is die a smoker or raging alcoholic, these things, they'll follow you into the next life and I'm at that age where it's time to begin preparations...
Anyways, there are people out here that live day to day 10X as stoned as I've ever been from dawn 'til dusk, and it helps me a great deal to understand how this economy functions...
Gabriel Garcia Marquez - Collected Stories
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Books
- Hits: 82
This took a while to read, not least because of weekends and everything else getting in the way...
Ordered Chronologically, with the first written in 1947, and every couple of years thereafter, these are an interesting read in that Marquez would later go on to win the Nobel Prize. And while always recognizably himself, it's not until the 60's that I start to see the stories coming together in a way that I appreciate, and so in this you're given the chance to see someone get better at their craft.
So, it took a while to read, as it progressed more and more worthwhile, but I should stop this hunting down of favorite authors and move on to others, my desk is cluttered with more (and more) books to be read, and I'm all out of time...
Discombobulated...
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Blog
- Hits: 109
It's true, you can have too much of a good thing.
Party, Spirit Bar, Friday night. And after party. And then home by 5:00 AM to sleep it off, only...
Well, Saturday wake up at 5:00, not feeling so good. Not bad, just not...
And bed by 10:00 and again today, up at 8:30, and it still feels like various elements of my personality went on walk-about, I'm a little discombobulated and fully appreciate those who get lost after Shambala and never make it home...
It's a curious feeling that encourages me to consider some restraint at these events...
Anyways, waiting, waiting for it to all come back together...
The Homeless Migration
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: People
- Hits: 104
And now, a few days of nice weather and it's begun, the annual migration of the homeless, and I'm wondering how they all get here and where did they come from? Who stops to pick up someone pushing 2 shopping carts filled to the brim with trash, or someone spattered in blood and feces and with the classic opioid stoop?
It kills me because the town can barely afford to feed it's own homeless contingents, the year 'rounders, the locals, without these hundreds of new arrivals. But spring is here and summer not to far behind...
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