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- Written by: Rod Boyle
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Found this painting at a thrift shop today, would have bought, but at $160.00 it was a bit out of my league...
What would appear to be a wizard or prophet lecturing a disinterested group of disciples under the light of a giant sea-shell. In a cave. If you look closely you'll see those souls being sucked into the light cast by the sea-shell...
Fucking genius.
I mean, really, If I could do better, I would, but there's no way...
I know who could but she's not speaking to me...
Note the detail. On the left the colorless crystals, the waterfall, the subterranean setting (why are they in a cave? Why is the seashell giving off light? Is this Darwin feeding the masses? Or letting them starve? I'm not sure...)
Here's a more detailed view:
Midget (black? pygmy) lady pulling on prophet/wizards coat. Nun on donkey. Bishop and yellow carrying lamp. Oh, this is so full-fucking-on, and looking at it again I'm wishing I'd spent the money. But curiously, I don't think it's going anywhere, except maybe the MOBA. They would LOVE this, find the artist, and make him/her a celebrity of outsider art...Absolute Genius.
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Brilliance in Advertising. No, really...
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The best thing I've seen since the Old Spice Commercials. I don't have a TV, but I hope this is on it...
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Having rediscovered a series I really should have watched in the 90's I began a marathon of stupidity, descending into the labyrinthine rabbit warren that is the X Files. "The Truth is Out There", never so out there as the stories that run roughshod over countless absurdities and convoluted plot-holes, preposterous, hierarchical nested conspiracies dealing with aliens, hybridizations, colonization, monsters, miracles and paranormal phenomenon. Strangely compelling, delighting in the bad retro suits, trench coats, haircuts and computers, the recognition of various guest stars (a young Jack Black and Scott Evil, still evil), in the end I could only manage three seasons. The best episodes were the stand-alone ones; internet dating done right in "2Shy" (and, believe it or not, I've been on worse dates), the best town picnic ever in "Our Town", and the outstanding: "Jose Chung's From Outer Space".
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And roaming upon 17th Avenue I pop into Rubaiyat, a store I've long neglected since moving out of the hood. For a couple of reasons, not least the fact that generally they're out of my budget and I've a locker full of beautiful things that I have no place to enjoy.
There's the discovery of wonderful, needful, things; a portable chandelier upon a tripod, rude wood bowls out of tree burls, Silver cuff links with Haida motifs, I like them all but the Raven would definitely be my totem. And they've a man counter, with male accessories, giant rings for those so inclined, more cuff links with manly motifs out of Mississippi numbered nails and other found objects thoughtfully re-purposed, large gems, hip flasks and other accessories, I'm not buying but I've just burned through another million dollars yet to be earned, who do I know that would like these as gifts?...
And finally there are the jellyfish paperweights, marvels in their own right, translucent, vaguely fluorescent, luminescent, millefiori barnacles and corals, blown with Uranium or some such radioactive tints, price tags carefully hidden, (and this where the $3000 price tag on the wood bowl is gleefully displayed), Satava Art Glass (follow the link, look for the Jellyfish). long tentacles, nestled domes, spun patterned tentacles, they seem to pulsate within the confines of the glass globes, I need these for my desk, these are the objects of inspiration I've been missing...
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Now last year, last summer, in the midst of the prospecting season and into a couple of weeks of homelessness I had need of a cellphone.
I'm morally opposed to cellphones. I, I don't need a cellphone. But when you're living out of your car and people want to keep in touch, children, family and such, a cellphone or some means of contact becomes a necessity.
I went to "The Source". Set up with a new phone, phone number, all to be billed later on my bill. And they up-sold me on their extended warranty - if anything went wrong, for $70 extra bucks, I could just bring in my phone and exchange it for a new one.
From everything I've heard things go wrong. Mostly screens breaking, occasional dips in water, I'm going to be off in adverse circumstances in the bush, generally I'm aware that the extended warranty is a scam, but in this instance it just seems prudent. I buy the extended warranty.
On Monday my phone doesn't charge. A connection issue. I fiddle with it, screw around, it's not working, time to cash in on the extended warranty, back to The Source. Thank god for the extended warranty.
The clerk requests a receipt - by some miracle I have it, and by another it's survived a year and a half in my car's trunk without (mostly, in essential parts) fading, they print these receipts like this on purpose, I swear, cheap thermal fax paper that is unlikely to survive even a week of your extended warranty...
...and he pulls up my account, hums, haws, acknowledges the extended warranty, then explains that they'll return it to the factory for refurbishment, it'll take 2-4 weeks,....
I can't go 2-4 weeks without a phone. Who can?
OR - I can upgrade my cell-phone plan, pay out the balance, get a new phone....
I choose the latter. More fiddling, swapping out the sim card, 10 minutes and $150 dollars in unanticipated charges later I have a new contract, a new phone....
"Would you like to buy the extended warranty?" the clerk suggests..."Only $70.00...3 years, anything goes wrong with your phone and you can just swap it out for a new one...."
Uh-huh. NO. The Source, Extended Warranty, Zero out of 5 stars.