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The Gym
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
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To the gym, with my new Gym bag, trying out all the medieval instruments of torture, discover another, how to use? Surreptitiously peek or spy on someone, figure it out, wait my turn, wear myself out on it and find another. Rinse, repeat. High school girls occupying machines to take selfies of themselves or do a set and then endlessly scroll through their Instagram photos, they wind me up, I'm on a mission, hurry up...!!!
I recognize a couple, petite fit Kootenay girl, spotting for her immensely muscular boyfriend (s??), she smiles & says "hi", I know them, but from where? Certainly not here. Probably the restaurant, or perhaps a rave. It's embarrassing this, these gym bunnies benching more than I'll be able to do in a year, not that that's my ambition but I am inherently a sexist, and I'm not living up to my prejudices...
A sane person might consider it time to revise their prejudices, but no one's ever accused me of being Sane.
Another girl practicing her Pelvic Thrusts with a 200lb Barbell on her lap, bloody hell, is she dating King Kong?
I fucking hate the gym, but as I seem to be a sucker for punishment...what with the Vodka and smoking, I'll see how long I can stand it...this, at least might have an "UP' side, so I keep it up...
Pumping Iron, until your only thought is to escape the gym, your every limb trembles and burns, and even the bars on the doors are too tough to push open, and it occurs to me to make a Gym themed Escape Room, the whole purpose to escape it, overcome obstacles tailor made to increase your fitness, move this weight and this and then get to the door, pull, push...it could be done, easy.
When my hour is done, torture completed, I was hurting from Tuesday and I'm hurting even more today, this didn't help at all, then down to the Steam Room and Sauna where I can feel the Vodka and Nicotine evaporating through my pores. Small reward for a lot of pain.
The Gym, it's curbing my enthusiasm for drinking and cigarettes, my sole vices, it's true, you need only a single good habit to begin dismantling a hundred bad ones. The subconscious mind does not hold contrary views, in opposition to the conscious mind which can comfortably hold a hundred.
Meet the Artist: Mike Wysminity
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
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Currently showing at the Kootenay Bakery.
Saskatchewan native 'cum Nelsonite.
Fitness
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Blog
- Hits: 711
Today I'm a bit of a wreck. Tuesday's excursion to the gym, and my insistence on trying every one of the medieval physical torture devices is being felt in every limb. Why today and not Wednesday? Anyways, at some point this evening, still burning, I'm due to go down and do it all over again.
I have a gym-bag, I have to.
Mornings at the Fishbowl
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: People
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At the fishbowl cafe, early, always, get warm, filled with other get-warmers, typically the homeless just setting out to kill an 18 hour day. Conversing with the young female baristas, at tones loud enough for the entire cafe to hear, about Dodge Trucks and how much gas they use and he'd never be able to pedal the gas for fear it would run out, and - you know, he'd never be able to pedal the gas because he'd never acquire a license to drive, never raise enough on the street to buy a truck, let alone the tank of gas, and so this conversation, entirely irrelevant, but the barista's bearing it with an admirable stoicism.
Next up is K***y, a wreck I see every day, gaunt, bearded, he travels all over town with his bags filled with (???), not unhoused, he's maybe in his 70's, severely disabled, but he's got the tricks, he stands beside me and shuffles the three dimes in his hand, trying to get together enough for a coffee, it's impossible, he knows, and so he rolls his eyes imploringly at me...
He'd done this to me yesterday, I'm an easy mark, clearly he is one of the least fortunate, least capable of Nelson's homeless contingent, and I don't even think he's homeless, he's got a place somewhere, institution, but he's capable enough he's given free reign over his days and spends them on the bus to Balfour or Nelson and all points in between....
Once he's secured funding for his coffee he begins in his halted, peculiar tones to discuss the impeachment of Trump, and I need really to find another café to warm up in these first few hours before the library opens...
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