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Cabin Fever
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
- Hits: 2470
It's been 2 weeks without a car.
Normally it wouldn't matter, I've lived so long without a car what do I need one now for? But this new place, it's far from everywhere, a ten minute walk to a erratic bus stop, a half hour wait (if you're lucky) for the bus, connections, I'm out there.
The only amenities in this neighborhood are a Gas Station and a Pub.
And the weather, the first week I took the bus, this week I've been in, it's close to 20 below, colder in the evenings, thick snow everywhere; bored cats pacing the house and fighting over trifles, we've all got Cabin Fever.
I check what I could be doing, if the car was ready (it's not, I called and checked...). There's the Spanish Film Festival at The Plaza. Damn. It looks good, and not just because I can't go... Then there's The Marda Loop Justice Film Festival, which is good to take the boy to. But there's no way I'm going to that without a car. And there's always Chess at the Pumphouse Theatre, never great productions (your lucky if anyone can sing), but they're fun and they're cheap.
But it's 20 below and I'm not going anywhere.
There's a great Puppet Show - The Narrative of Victor Karloch, fortunately not yet in Calgary, so I'm not yet missing anything there, but watching the trailer I want to be there NOW!.
So I clean. How bored do I have to be before I clean? Pretty damned bored. I make the bed and vacuum, I clean the toothpaste off the bathroom wall (and in the process discover a mirror), I postpone finishing my book (The History of Love by Nicole Krauss, loved it...), I promise myself I'll go out, somehow, tonight, I make cucumber and tomato and tomatillo salsa, and I make my vague plans.
There are paintings to be worked on, but tonight I'll skip it. I'm going out.
The local pub, The Swig and Swine it's called, a ten minute walk, they advertise bikini waitresses and VLT's and "Porkin' in the Rear...", and I think that I should probably clean myself up before I go out, then I realize where I'm going (and why would anyone clean themselves up to go there, I ask you?) and I despair and finish reading my book.
Another quiet night in. I'll go out tomorrow night, I promise....
Pair Antique Electrick Candlesticks
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: For Sale
- Hits: 2512
A pair of antique candlesticks, converted to be used with electricity and then converted back to be used with candles.
These are priced slightly more than the Vintage candlesticks, for a couple of reasons:
#1) They're older. Look at the Patina on the underside, older = more money.
#2) (Im)Properly wired, they're worth at least $100,000 dollars in insurance money. At least. The house payments getting to be a bit much? The husband/wife becoming a bit of a nag? These are the candlesticks for you. Don't make me spell things out. You're getting 'em cheap and my lips are sealed.
Reverend Billy & The Church of Life After Shopping
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Link of the day
- Hits: 1676
Being Agnostic and all there are few churches that have any appeal to me whatsoever (apart from their architectural value...). This is one I'd join (were I not already a member...).
Fine Bust of the God of Cigars
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: For Sale
- Hits: 3211
"What's this?" I asked, hefting the statue in my hands.The shopkeeper looked at me shrewdly, sizing me up.
He sucked his breath in between his teeth.
- "That..." he began "Is a bust of Arturo Fuento, The God of fine cigars."
"Really?" I said, intrigued. I don't smoke cigars but somehow the statue felt heavier, more valuable in my hands...
- "Indeed." he said. "The only carving in the world of him known to exist. Please be careful with it, it's priceless."
"I didn't know there was a God of Cigars."
- "You're not from around here, are you?. Arturo Fuento is the god to whom the natives used to direct their worship when they wanted a smoke."
"Really?" I was repeating myself. So often these souvenir shops are cluttered with the same old thing, coral and shark's tooth necklaces, bad handicrafts, T-Shirts, but I was beginning to think that I was on to something....
"How much?" I asked.
- "It's not for sale. The natives wouldn't allow me to sell it." and here his voice dropped to a whisper. "They still worship him...."
"No, really, how much?"
- "It's not for sale."
"I can give you " and I opened my wallet to check..."Ten dollars."
- "Not for sale"
"Twenty Dollars..."
- "For the only known statue in the world of Arturo Fuento, God of fire and fine cigars? You have to be joking..."
"One hundred American dollars..."
- "Will that be cash or American Express?"
Now, naturally I don't expect you to be as flush as I was at the time, but I've come to realize that as I don't actually smoke cigars having the God of Cigars on my desk is a bit pointless. Not that I haven't prayed to him for other favours, but apparently he limits his interests to smoking. Doubtless he is the piece you've been looking for to watch over your humidor. Since I don't believe one should traffic in spirits or gods (at least not for base commerce), I'm offering him up in trade for something of equal ju-ju, but smaller. No more than 2 inches at it's broadest dimension (OK, 3 inches if it's really good). I'm downsizing. Don't tell me what it is, I trust you implicitly. Just let me know when you'll be coming to pick it up and I'll leave him on my front doorstep. (don't be late, it's damnably cold outside and I'm pretty sure he's not used to it....).
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